Sisters trump Mother

Lately I have been feeling like Serena loves her big sister more than she loves me. Perhaps this is because she DOES love her big sister more than me. When Calli comes into a room, Serena's eyes immediately turn to her and a huge smile lights up her face. When Calli comes to play with Serena, she is in heaven. She just adores her big sister. What could be better than a person who is close to her own size, after all? Maybe she knows already what it means to have a sister. She knows that her sister will become her biggest confidant and staunchest supporter in life. Calli's silly games and crazy dances are often rewarded with giggles that last for minutes. Calli has the uncanny ability to make Serena smile and laugh like no one else can. And this makes me a bit jealous of her! A baby is supposed to love her Mommy the most, right?

I am very grateful and happy to see this special bond between the two of them. I can only hope this turns into a lifelong friendship and Calli's proclamations of Serena being her "best friend" stick. And even if I am not the one producing the sweet smiles from my baby, it is still a joy to see.

I had purchased a hat for Serena at Babies R Us last week. She has been in the sun a few times without a hat and it seemed like a good idea for her to have one. A few days later Calli discovered the hat sitting on a chair and put it on Serena's head. She then had to run upstairs to find her own hat so they could be "twins". Then, in true Calli fashion, she insisted I take their picture.

Bumbo Baby!

I got Serena a bumbo yesterday. Well, it is not the BUMBO bumbo, but a different brand. Actually it is a better one because it has a tray with toys on it that can go on later and then it can also be a booster seat at the table for toddlers. Anyway, she wasn't too sure she liked it at first, but I think she is getting the hang of it.


I am not so sure about this bumbo thing Mom!

It's okay Little Sister!

Okay, it's growing on me

It's kind of fun

Okay, okay I love it!!

Calli's Week at Princess Camp

Calli attended a summer camp this week called Princess Camp. It took place Monday through Friday from 2-4pm. If you can't tell from the name, the camp was all about the Disney Princesses. Throughout the week they played games, decorated skirts and crowns, made a bracelet, read stories and just learned about all the princesses. Calli had an absolute blast.

Unfortunately this camp was not conveniently located to our house, but it sounded like so much fun that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to send Calli to it. The age group was 3-7 year olds and at three years and one week old, she was the youngest in attendance. Every day at 1:30pm I loaded up the girls in their carseats and made the half hour drive from our house to the camp. I dropped Calli off at her camp and Serena and I would head home for an hour before going back out to pick Calli up from camp. Needless to say I logged many miles on my car, spent more than the usual amount in gas, and learned the roads to camp very well.

In the days leading up to camp, I was so excited for Calli. I couldn't wait for her to have this experience and since she loves everything princess so much, I knew she would love this opportunity. She chattered about it nonstop on the way to the first class, asking me all kinds of questions about what she was going to do. When I got the kids out of the car and walked into the classroom, I began to feel nervous. It suddenly hit me that I was leaving my little girl here to face this experience, without me. It was the first time I had left her all alone. Sure, she has been to her dance class once a week for the last year, but I am always waiting for her in the lobby the entire time. We leave her in the YMCA daycare, but we are thirty feet away using the gym. This time I was dropping her off and going home without her. As I started the drive back to my house with one empty carseat in the back, it was all I could do not to turn around and go back and sit in the parking lot waiting for her to be done. And I tell you what, if I didn't have Serena I might have done just that. You are probably thinking my feelings are a bit extreme, but understand that this is the first time I have left her on her own like this. If she hurt herself, who would be there to kiss her boo boo? If she needed to go to the bathroom, would she know to speak up to the teacher? And then of course, all the unimaginable things cross my mind; what if something terrible happens and I'm not there? I got a glimpse of what it must be like for every working mother who has to leave their children at daycare every day. It definitely makes me grateful to be able to be a stay at home mother.

I am happy to report that I made it home that day without turning around to go back to the camp. I waited the whole hour, spending some quality time alone with Serena. I was happy when it was time to go and get Calli again and realized that she must have done okay since I didn't receive a phone call from her instructor telling me otherwise. When I walked to her classroom, I got to peek through at them just finishing up for the day. They were eating their snack (pretzels and water) and someone had just spilled their water where Calli was sitting. She simply got up and told the teacher. What a grown-up little girl she was. When camp was over she was very excited to see me and I couldn't wait to hear all about her day. She bubbled over telling me about the skirt she had made and the game of hopscotch they played. I knew she had had so much fun.

Each day it got a little easier to leave her. I still felt like I was leaving a piece of myself, but I know that feeling will never change. No matter how old my kids get, they will always be a part of me. They grew in my body and were a part of me for nine months. Now they are not that way in the literal sense, but they still have my blood coursing through their veins and my heart in their hands. When you are a mother, this is just the way things are. And the more kids you have, the more pieces of you are floating around out there.

Friday came rather quickly and Calli was so excited for the tea party with Snow White. Calli had failed to mention that parents were also invited to stay, but having a sixth sense about these things, I grabbed my camera on the way out the door. Calli got to put her skirt on and the crown she had made as well when we got there. The girls drank tea (punch) and ate the cookies they had made the day before. Calli told me she had made hers for me. She specifically asked one of the teachers to write "Mommy" on her cookie. I was so touched that she would think of me like that as non of the other girls had done the same (neener neener to those other moms!!! ;)). Of course, she wanted to eat the cookie herself, but it was the thought that counted. After the tea party was over Calli received her special Princess Camp shirt, certificate and coloring page and we were officially done with her first camp. I am relieved and sad at the same time. I don't know what I will do when she goes off to kindergarten!

Calli and her friends, waiting for the tea party to start

Calli and Serena

Eating her cookies and drinking tea

Serena enjoying the party

The guest of honor, Snow White

Calli and Snow White

Too Busy!

I have started to notice this has become the every excuse lately. I have two kids now, one of them a very active three year old and the other a newborn, just three months old. So I get it. People can be busy! But I get tired of hearing this excuse over and over again. Do you know it takes maybe ten minutes to type out an email saying hello to someone? That small time taken out of your day may just make someone else's.

I say these things because I get tired of writing emails, keeping in touch with people who seem to have no interest in returning it. Yes, we all get busy. But I know very few, if any, people who get so consumed with their lives they cannot keep up with anyone else. The simple fact is that if you care about someone and you want to talk to them, you will find time. I get tired of sending out emails that never come back. In this day of technology we are so fortunate to be able to have something like email to keep in touch with people. It can't possible get any easier. And yet, everyone seems "too busy".

If you haven't spoken to your best friend in three months, then you are probably not as close as you think.

I just get tired of it all. Tired of having one sided relationships, tired of putting forth the effort when others don't. The problem is that I seem to care even when someone else doesn't. I get emotionally attached to people and I CARE. This must make me a terrible person.

If you have time to actually tell me you are too busy, then in that same breath or space on your email you could have also told me a snippet of what is going on in your life. Don't make excuses. Just admit you simply don't care enough to keep in touch.

Everyone that I care about in my life knows I care about them. And the really important ones hear from me on a weekly, if not daily basis. We are all busy. It's just about who we care enough about to make time for.

4th of July

4th of July marked Serena's first official holiday. It was Calli's first holiday as a baby as well, but she was just five days old. Serena enjoyed it a bit more, turning three months the day of the celebrations. The day before she rolled from her back to her belly for the first time. She had rolled over on her side a few times before and just in the last few days had really been trying to get all the way over. It seemed to come out of nowhere that it just happened. She did it about three weeks before Calli had rolled. I don't know whether to be thrilled of nervous, as Calli did everything else early, crawling at six months and walking at nine and half months. I am excited for Serena to reach these milestones, but that means I will have two to chase after. Anyway, she had a very exciting Thursday as she also laughed for the first time. She had been doing this breathing when she smiled that sounded like she wanted to laugh, but she hadn't yet. So finally when I was playing with her on the ground I did something funny and she let out a small giggle. It was over too quickly and I found myself wishing I could pocket that and take it with me wherever I go. There is little sounds so precious in this world as your baby's laughter and the first one is so much fun to hear. She has laughed a few times since, but it is always so fleeting and leaves me wanting so much more.

So back to the 4th of July. It was Serena's first and Calli's fourth. That is hard to believe Calli has been on this earth for four of these now. She had a very fun day. We went to some festival/kids parade at a lake/park. It is supposidly "the thing to do" around here for young familes. I was kind of disappointed with the parade. Growing up, my dad used to take my sister and me to a wonderful 4th of July parade every year. We would go extra early to make sure and get good seats on the curb. Then while we waited for the parade to start we walked around looking at all the booths people had set up trying to sell things. We also played in the park closeby. As I got older I started to think the parade was lame and I hated going. But you know what? Now I want to start the same tradition with my kids so one day they can grow up and hate it too.

The parade at this festival was just a small one that all the kids could march in. I was originally going to have Calli just watch the parade as I figured she would enjoy that more. We found a place to stand on the sidelines that was in the shade and I busied myself with making Serena comfortable and happy and when I turned around, Calli had gone with Grandpa to march in the parade. I think she had fun doing that though. It was only about a five minute parade and after it was over we walked around to the other side of the lake to all the festivities they had set up. There was a special kids section with rides and games. Calli of course wanted to go on the rides. Grandpa accompanied her on the first one (a ride similar to the tea cups at Disneyland). After that we tried to go on the bouncey slide but they said she was too short. Funny how she is too short here but in every bounce place across America she can be let in. So we were disappointed, but we pointed her in the direction of the fun house. She ran through there twice and then I decided to play one of the carnival games. I chose the one where you try to pop the balloons with the darts. Well it was $2 a game and you got two darts and had to pop two balloons. I thought I would never be able to do it. I aimed and popped the first balloon! Then of course I was nervous and wanted to pop the next one so bad. Well I did it!! So I got to choose a prize and got a stuffed unicorn for Calli. She carried it around with her for a bit, but like everything else I win for her, it eventually was forgotten about.

We went to check on Serena after that and she was not a happy camper. Although not up to South Texas standards, it was very hot that day still and Serena was not a happy camper. She was very warm and sweaty and I felt just terrible. I had been so wrapped up in Calli's happiness that I hadn't even considered that Serena might not be having the greatest time. We decided to take her back to the car to feed her and let Calli do a few more rides with the grandparents. We ended up finding some shade on our way back under a tree and sat down there to feed her. After eating her bottle and being under the tree with a slight breeze blowing she was much happier and cooler. We still decided to leave after that and go to lunch at a Mexican restaurant downtown.

We all went home after that and we thought about going to see fireworks that night. I had been against going to see any because I didn't want to have the kids out that late and I really didn't want to be on the road with all the drunk drivers sure to be out there. But it was the 4th of July and it just didn't feel right without fireworks. Originally our plans had been to get some fireworks and set them off in the court with the rest of the neighbors, but there was a county ban on them this year, even for us folks outside the San Antonio city limits. So our only options were to go to a show or to a safe area to set them off ourselves. We chose the former. It started to pour rain a few hours before the show would start, but then cleared up and so we decided to brave it. The dark clouds still loomed in the sky so I just prayed the rain would hold off. We went to Lackland Air Force Base and it was very crowded! This event was open to the public and there was just so many people. They also had many kids rides and bouncehouses, but they required tickets to play. The line to purchase tickets was ridiculously long and we would have been waiting no less than an hour. We just decided to get hot dogs and sodas instead and set up a spot on the lawn to wait for the show to start. The girls were extremely well behaved while we were waiting. Serena was content to just lie on the blanket and stretch out her legs and Calli was anxious for the show to start. They started it about twenty minutes late and it was your typical fireworks show, but it was fun nonetheless. We were exhausted by the time we got home as it had been an extremely long day. But it was so fun and these opportunities don't come along often. Before I know it the kids will be grown and taking their own families to fireworks shows so I better enjoy my time while I can.

And here are some pictures from our fun-filled 4th of July. There are a lot so I hope you enjoy!

Calli and Serena on 4th of July morning

Calli helping Mommy brush Serena's hair

Me and my girls

Calli and Serena

Serena just hanging out watching the parade

Grandpa and Calli marching in the parade

Calli got lots of bead necklaces!

On the ride with Grandpa and a new friend she made

Running through the playhouse

Daddy and his girls

Calli wearing Grandma's poncho in case it rained

I think I want to roll over....

Here I go!

Almost there....

Phew, that was hard! Okay Mom, flip me back over so I can do it again!

Calli and Serena waiting for the fireworks to start

Big hugs for sister. I can never resist showing these photos because they are just so sweet!

Mommy and Calli

Calli watching the fireworks. It doesn't look like it, but she actually loved them.

Serena even enjoyed them too

Silence

You don't realize how truely wonderful it is until you lose the ability to experience it. Yes, I only have two kids so it's not as if we have a zoo running around (yet). But with Calli beginning her day around 6:30-7 and Serena not much later, I constantly have some noise buzzing in my ear throughout the day. Calli doesn't nap. She gave those up when she was about two, maybe earlier. So I look forward to about 9pm each night when the kids are in bed and I get a precious half hour or so before I need to pass out myself.

Today is different. Today I decided it was time to impliment "quiet time" for Calli. I took her upstairs (with much protesting on her part), read her a book, and told her that she needs to have her quiet time during the day. She can read her books, play quietly with her toys or even sleep if she wants to (but I made it clear she doesn't have to nap because otherwise I knew she would have a fit). I thought for sure I would hear her up and playing two minutes after I left the room, but amazingly enough, I think she actually fell asleep! Serena and Calli timed their naps together today, both went down around 1:00pm. I feel quite productive! Richard's parents are coming to visit this afternoon and so I have vaccuumed, swept and mopped, cleaned the counters, picked up endless amounts of toys and done two loads of laundry. I have also squeezed in a very unpleasant doctor's appointment and bath for Serena. And now I am taking a break. I love listening to the sound of silence. It is a bittersweet feeling though because I know that at any second a cry will ring through the house and the revery will be broken. I love my kids, but having "me time" keeps me sane and makes me a better mother I think.