Calli the Big Sister

Calli had just turned two when we found out we were pregnant again. Finding out the second time is so much different than the first time around. Some of my first thoughts were with Calli and how she would react to a new little person coming into our lives and stealing her spotlight. After all, she had had Mommy all to herself for two whole years and that is enough time to get used to that. I wanted Calli to be involved in my pregnancy and to be able to explain things to her, so we let her in on it very early, earlier than any book or doctor or "expert" recommends. I just didn't want it to be like one day she was an "only" and the next there was a baby in our lives. I wanted to get her used to the idea of her new little sibling. So we told her before I even started to show. As I expected she did not really grasp the concept right away, but she was two so what did I expect? As time went on and my belly started to expand she would ask me questions about there being a baby in my belly. I always explained to her that this would be her new sister or brother and made a big deal about her being a big sister. By the time she was two and a half she really started to understand. She would even tell people that there was a baby in her Mommy's tummy. She would give the baby hugs and kisses, tell the baby she loved her and proudly annouce her soon-to-be big sister status.

Toward the end of my pregnancy I wondered if we hadn't told her a BIT too soon. After all, to someone so young my pregnancy probably seemed to last a lifetime. Every day I kept hearing her ask me when the baby was coming. I wondered if maybe she was thinking if there was even a baby at all in my stomach. After all, it was taking a really long time to get here. Maybe the baby was just going to stay there forever! And it's not as if we knew when the baby was going to get here, so I couldn't give her an end date. I couldn't tell her she'd be a big sister next week or tomorrow. I just had to wait and hope she understood. We told her all about what was going to happen when Mommy went to the hospital. At first she was really sad and said she wanted to come with us and didn't understand why she had to be left behind. But finally she would excitedly tell us that she was going to stay at her friend's house while Mommy and Daddy went to the hospital and then Daddy would come get her to meet the baby. She got it! And that was exactly what happened.

I was so anxious while waiting in the hospital for her arrival. What would she say? How would she react to the new baby? You think you know and are prepared depending on what they think about the pregnancy, but it could really go either way. As she ran into my room shouting excitingly "Mommy!" I gave her a hug and pointed to her new baby sister sleeping soundly in the bassinet beside my bed. She peeked over the edge of it and turned to me with this HUGE smile on her face. Thank God, I thought, she was happy. In the very beginning she seemed a bit indifferent to her new sister. The newness wore off quickly and besides, she couldn't do anything with the baby but look at her so what fun was that? Once we got Serena home Calli wanted to hold and feed her and it was just so wonderful to see my children together like that for the first time. I finally knew that Calli had actually "gotten" it when she asked me not long after Serena was born: "There's no baby in your tummy? The baby is here? Serena was in your tummy?"

As the weeks have gone on, Calli has been so fantastic with her little sister. Sure, we have the occassional mishaps, but they've been nothing but accidents. Calli might be a little crazy and trip over Serena or she might hug her just a little too tight or get in her face a little too long. But it is all done out of love. She is constantly telling Serena how much she loves her or that she is so cute and cuddly. She loves to rub her head, give her hugs and kisses and play with her whenever she gets the chance. Calli is really just a huge baby person I've noticed. She loves to see other babies anywhere we go and is always sweet to them. When we went to the bounce place the other day there was a six month old baby and she played peek-a-boo with him.

Of course as a mother, I want to keep Serena little as long as possible. But I am also anxious for her to get bigger and play with her sister. There is nothing sweeter than watching your children interact (that is, if they actually like each other). I have always known I wanted a big family, but I wanted it for myself. I tend to think it's silly when people have a second baby solely for the purpose of giving their first a sibling. The first child isn't the one having to do the night feedings, pay for diapers, college and whatever else, etc. And besides, being related is not a guarantee for being best friends in life. I have to keep reminding myself this and that there are lots of people who are not close with their siblings. Of course as the moms and dads who created these spawns of ourselves, we all want them to get along, to like each other. But we can't force it. I just hope that these little moments of sweetness Calli has for Serena now translate into them being the best of friends later in life. I know how wonderful sisters are, how they can be your built in girlfriends for life. But for now I am just enjoying watch their relationship grow.

Calli meeting Serena for the first time

Calli feeding and holding Serena for the first time

Checking each other out

I love Serena's face in this one. It says "I can't believe I have to sit next to HER for a picture." Such a SISTERLY expression already!

Calli giving Serena big hugs

Calli protecting Serena from the sun

A close moment

Calli helping Serena after she woke up from her nap

Calli seems happy, but Serena is NOT

Big kisses for Serena

Okay, Mommy made them pose for this one!

Calli showing Serena her mobile

I love my little sister!